Tuesday, February 15, 2011

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day two: Things that I Stress About

Hmm, well I struggled with day one of this challenge to say ten facts about myself. I struggled so much, that I changed the title to "five facts" instead. I struggle with low self esteem and that is one of the main things I stress about. I've been "stressed out" for most of my life. Even as a young child, I was always worried about very adult problems (bills, parent's health, tasks, morality, appearances) and I'm pretty sure that, that contributes to my low self esteem. Currently, my big "stress" item is money. Working as a freelancer is TOUGH. If you are not motivated to go out there and hustle, you can let yourself get extremely discouraged (see self esteem issue above). So while I am making money, I am not making near as much as I used to when I was working full time, which leaves me with a lack of security which also turns into stress. So, now I stress about, going back to work full time/working for "the man" vs. pursuing something I truly enjoy but am not reaping the financial benefits.

I also stress about injustice. On ANY level. I hate to see people hurt. When I see people suffering, I morph into Saviour mode. It is a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I really do have love for other people and their children. I know some people who are great with their own kids but can't stand others. I really do love all of my friend's babies and children unconditionally. I've never tried to get pregnant so I don't know if I can even have my own children but I can totally picture myself adopting. In fact, I plan to, one day. That is a blessing. The curse comes in where I get too emotionally involved in other people's lives and drama and I tend to allow myself to be taken advantage of. Sometimes my heart is just like an open punching bag. I can't stand to watch or read something about child or animal abuse. It just makes me sick to think of defenseless creatures being tortured. Even writing this now, I can feel myself getting upset.

I stress about death. Morbidly.

I stress about pleasing people.

I never wanted to use this blog for a diary but I feel like these things are factual and I am sharing them in the spirit of honesty. Not soapbox'ing. SO There. That's as honest as it gets.


  1. I personally LOVE this 30 day challenge your doing I got on to comment on your first post and because of the time difference you are already on the 2nd one! LOVE YOUR HONESTY LOVE LEARNING MORE ABOUT YOU MOST OF ALL LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (still working on that pic... that is one of my stresses ha)

  2. that's okay sister!! take your time! don't stress!!! love you, blog more!! xoxo